The 13 year old me, it seems, liked to write about her holidays! I don’t write much anymore unless it’s in a professional sphere, so I feel I should share some of my musings from my younger and more impressionable days. Warning: most of the content below is highly cringe-worthy.
December 27th, 2003 (Madeira)
…There was the option to go back down from the village of Monte via cable car, but we decided to take the more fun way of descending in tobbogans! Probably, I would say, the most fun way of going down a mountain. We sat in these basket things which apparently were originally used to carry goods such as bananas and grapes. The men pushing the tobbogans wore hats like boaters’ hats, and two of them looked like a tanned Alan Cumming and a less muscular Arnold Schwarznegger. We got our photos taken while in the tobbogan and the cable car, but the one of me and Jess was terrible as we both had troll-like expressions on our faces. Mum and Dad got the one of themselves in the tobbogan even though I thought Mum had a rather strange expression on her face.
December 28th (La Palma)
Docked at the port of La Palma today. Mum expressed a great interest in what her little travel book said about a ‘National Park,’ which worried me greatly. Luckily, we couldn’t find a taxi to take to the National Park and, since taking a bus seemed risky, we were spared the boredom of visiting it (Yay!). So now here I am back at the Carousel getting ready to have a buffet lunch and then afterwards a spot of sunbathing, sweltering and showering after a sauna…
Attempted to sunbathe, but found it to be too windy for my liking.
I’m back in the cabin after watching Terminator 3. Quite a good film actually, despite my doubts about it. Arnie was good in it, though apparently for the movie the producers decided to airbrush his wrinkles out. Apparently the actor who played John Conner is called Nick Stahl…sounds German or something.
December 29th (Gran Canaria)
We stopped off at the top of a moutain called Bondama, where you could look down into the centre of a volcano crater where a farmer had made his home, even though the volcano is still active. Stupid man. There were a few statues of dogs in the Old Town, which left me slightly puzzled until I found out that the island dwellers basically worship dogs for some reason, and that ‘Canaria’ actually stems from the Latin word for dog, ‘canis’ and ‘aria’ meaning land. So the island name has nothing to do with canarys at all, which I consider to be a good thing as I hate canarys! Anyway, am now lying on my bed waiting for Mum and Dad to wake up from their ‘forty winks’ so we can go to the huge shopping mall five minutes’ walk away. I hope when I’m an adult I never do the stupid ‘forty winks’ thing, I mean come on, napping during the day? What a waste of time!
December 30th (Tenerife)
We got a really cool Renault Scenic car complete with a CD player from the Avis car company for the rest of the week. There’s a pool on the hotel residence, but we had a brief ten or fifteen minutes in it and almost froze into icebergs, so I think tomorrow we might try the huge lagoon place complete with prosthetic caves and rocks. At the moment I’m watching a Spanish/Portugese MTV channel, which is proving to be…interesting. Oh, today we also discovered menthol tissues, wonderful for blocked noses, and the only two English TV channels in our apartment, MTV and CNN, woohoo!
December 31st (Tenerife)
Just read a bit of Jess’ diary, and one account read: “I’m sure someone laughed at Becks’ too short trousers.” I thought here that they didn’t give a damn?! Oh well. I’m gonna wear shorts tomorrow. People’s impressions of me can make a big impact on me. I should have said ‘deep’ impact instead of ‘big’ there, since then that would count as a reference to an Elijah Wood movie.
January 1st 2004 (Tenerife)
We took great delight in watching a drunken guy in a biege suit lying on a bench while his friend tried to revive him. We have a sneaky suspicion that they had just left a party at a drag queen place next door called ‘Dorada.’ I dread to think what that means in Spanish!
January 3rd (Tenerife)
Today we went to a place called Icod and saw a 500 year old Dragon Tree; the oldest tree of its kind in the Canary Islands. While there we also saw the San Marcas church, which actually proved to be a lot more interesting than I thought, especially three idols which definitely had a spiritual air about them. They were in a row and were made out of wood I think. The first idol was of a very solemn, disappointed looking Jesus sitting with his head in his hands, the second was of Jesus hanging on the cross and the third was of a woman crying as she held the Shroud of Turin. There was definitely something spiritual about the idols, or I suppose it could have just been the weird music in the background. From the gift shop I bought a really pretty green/blue bracelet with a little cross dangling from the chain. Mum said Grandma would go crazy if she saw it because it’s a Catholic bracelet. Wow, big deal.
January 4th (Tenerife)
Walked up Tenerife’s highest mountain today. Ok, well we didn’t strictly walk up it, we took the Teleferico cable car since it is, as far as I’m concerned, the only accessible route to the summit. Mum got increasingly annoyed with a couple of queue jumpers, saying that the man had an eye twitch because someone had ‘bopped him one’ for queue jumping before. Once at the top of the mountain we discovered that it was very cold, even snowy in parts. Snow in Tenerife, I tell you! Made an interesting discovery about the rock there; it’s very light and porous, making it excellent for throwing at members of my family (i.e. Dad). Got the cable car down as well, though I don’t think we had any other option of getting down anyway. Me and Jess were thinking it would be fun if you got given a sack to sit in and just had to slide down the mountainside. Not safe, perhaps, but very fun and guaranteed bumping into rocks!
We had a very late lunch which was rudely interrupted by various wasps and bees. Me and Jess eventually moved to sit inside the restaurant to eat the remainder of our lunch in peace, a concept I don’t think insects understand.
I won’t bother bore this diary by accounting the events of the day as they weren’t very memorable, apart from when we got held up in traffic by a herd of goats shepherded by an Alsation. Since that was the only exciting event of the day, I’ll move on to the next day. Am going home! I’m on a plane to Glasgow with a constantly whinging and kicking infant behind me. I still have to finish writing my RMPS essay on Muslim law and polish up my English Tempest essay. I have a feeling I’m going to achieve a B- or even a C for them, something I really do not want to experience, ever. Was trying to sleep but found it virtually impossible, so have read Bliss magazine. It’s quite a good read actually, apart from the fact that the writers seem to have an obsession with various minor and utterly crap bands such as D-Side (never heard their music, and by the look of the band members, I never want to), Busted (one of them has obviously stolen some poor animal’s fur for his eyebrows) and Blazin Squad (possibly the band containing the most bams I’ve ever seen together). I think I actually might write into the magazine and get my letter printed on the ‘rants’ page for some random freebie. My letter would probably go something like this:
Bring on the entertainers!
Although I believe that most of the features in Bliss are of excellent quality, I have to complain about a recurring problem; your posters and music section. In the January issue for this year, I happily opened my Bliss mag to the pages about my favourite actor, Elijah Wood, only to discover that there was NO POSTER of the gorgeous LOTR star! I noticed you devoted six whole pages to people like the Busted boys, whose music is crap, and you have to admit they cetainly don’t match up to the likes of Elijah Wood or Johnny Depp in the looks department. And frankly, who actually likes the bams who call themselves Blazin Squad, or the virtually non-existant band D-Side. Whatever happened to the real entertainers? Bring on Michael Jackson any day.
Bex, 13, Aberdeen